I Do Realise That When I Laugh,

Say What You Want About The Deaf.

My Dad's Dying Wish Was To Have His Family Around Him. I Can't Help Thinking He Would Have Been Better Off With More Oxygen.

In Pizza Express You Can Get Garlic Bread With Cheese And Tomato. Now Correct Me If I'm Wrong, But That's A Pizza.

As Soon As I Did My First Five Minutes Of Stand-up I Knew That I Would Rather Be A Failure At Comedy Than A Success In Marketing.

Like Most Of The World's Population I'm Into Coffee, My Perfect Weekend Would Start With A Pint Of Coffee.