No Matter How Much You Give A

I Was In The South Of France. I Saw A Brownie On A School Trip. She Was Holding Up A Book. It Said On The Front 'rough Guide'. I Thought: 'yeah' She's Not A Looker.

I Go Around The Country And Do A Simple Gag Like, 'the Property Ladder Is Now A Snake' And Get A Real Laugh.

A Lady With A Clipboard Stopped Me In The Street The Other Day. She Said, 'can You Spare A Few Minutes For Cancer Research?' I Said, 'all Right, But We Won't Get Much Done.'

British Scientists Have Demonstrated That Cigarettes Can Harm Your Children. Fair Enough. Use An Ashtray!

I Think Being Successful In Comedy Is Being Funny And Making Jokes - Anything Beyond That Is The Icing On The Cake.