The Reason Old Man Use Viagra Is

My Father Always Used To Say, "what Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Stronger," - 'til The Accident.

After A Gig I Always Head Back To The Hotel, Remembering Granny's Words Of Wisdom. I Cancel The Late-night Pizza And Watch The Jonathan Ross Show Instead.

The Tragedy For Comedians Is There's Nothing More They Want Than To Be Liked. We Desperately Seek Approval. It's Almost Like A Personality Disorder You Can Do As A Job.

I Saw A Charity Appeal In The Guardian The Other Day, And It Read "little Zuki Has To Walk 13 Miles A Day Just To Fetch Water". And I Couldn't Help Thinking, She Should Move.

My Favourite Road Sign Is 'falling Rocks'. What Exactly Am I Supposed To Do With That Information? They May As Well Have A Sign Saying "random Accidents Ahead", "life's A Lottery, Be Lucky."