I Loved Playing The Part Of The

Nobody Understands That By The Time The Addiction Has Set In The Alcoholic Is Mandated To Drink ... He Cannot Not Drink! Nobody Wakes Up In The Morning And Says, 'jiminy Cricket, I Feel Sensational! My Life Is Really In Great Shape! I Think I'll Become An Alcoholic!' I Firmly Believe That When A Shaking-to-pieces Alcoholic Says He Needs A Drink Or He Will Die, He Means It.

I Find It Next To Impossible To Remain Politely Silent When People Prate To Me About The Glory Of Being Given Another Chance To Live Happily Ever After!

Everything Edible Is Fried In Texas! Or It Is Buried In The Ground To Cook Before It Is Eaten. ... Texas Food Should Be Forbidden! 'the Steaks At Night Are Big And Bright, Deep In The Heart Of Texas!' And They Are Always Afloat In Grease. Next Morning You Are Served A Smaller Steak, Which Serves As A Platform For Two Fried Eggs ... All Of This Afloat In The Same Grease! 'chicken, You Say? You Bet! Comin' Up!' Same Grease! They Are Right. Comin' Up! For Hours Afterwards. I Couldn't Believe The Crust Of An Apple Pie! Same Grease!

My Name Is Real, Which Probably Explains Why I Never Became A Superstar... How Would That Look In Lights?

I Don't Think The Hollywood Community Is Interested In What I Can Do. That's All Right. I've Never Looked For A Job In My Life, And I'm Not Going To Start Now. I Have Plenty To Keep Me Busy.