I Love The Way My Life Has

Just Remember: Surviving Is The Best Revenge, No Matter What The Disaster Has Been.

My Mother Could Make Anybody Feel Guilty - She Used To Get Letters Of Apology From People She Didn't Even Know.

A Woman Went To A Plastic Surgeon And Asked Him To Make Her Like Bo Derek. He Gave Her A Lobotomy.

I Use A Smoke Alarm As A Timer.

I'm So Fat And I'm So Depressed; Last Night I Tried To Hang Myself - But The Rope Broke.