I Love The Way My Life Has

I Was Just Reading About The New Lindsay Lohan Diet, Which Is All Liquid. 80 Proof.

The People Voting For The Oscars Are So Old. I Haven't Seen One Academy Award Voter With A Tampon In Her Purse.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun. Well, So Do Old Ladies!

[when Told That Her Grandchild Had Her Nose:] I Didn't Get This Nose Until I Was Thirty-four.

My Grandson Is Mad At Me. He's Mad At Me Because I Squandered His College Fund On Spanx. It's A Lot, But There's A Lot Going On Here.