I've Learned To Have Absolutely No Regrets

My Mother Was A Very Elegant Woman. When A Flying Saucer Landed On The Lawn, She Turned It Over To See If It Was Wedgwood.

I Like Colonic Irrigation Because Sometimes You Find Old Jewelry.

If You're Not A Wreck In This Business, You're Not Around.

I'm A Double Bagger. Not Only Does My Husband Put A Bag Over My Face When We're Making Love, But He Also Puts A Bag Over His Head In Case Mine Falls Off.

Your Anger Can Be 49 Percent And Your Comedy 51 Percent, And You're Okay. If The Anger Is 51 Percent, The Comedy Is Gone.