Never Admit That Your Back Goes Out

I Was So Flat I Used To Put Xs On My Chest And Write, 'you Are Here.' I Wore Angora Sweaters Just So The Guys Would Have Something To Pet.

I Wish I Could Tell You It Gets Better. It Doesn't Get Better. You Get Better.

"i Wouldn't Go Over Here To Lisa Rinna And I Would Say 'are Those Breasts Real, Are You Wearing Underwear?'"

A Female Salmon Lays Three Thousand Eggs A Year - And Has Yet To Receive A Mother's Day Card From One Of Them.

She Doesn't Understand The Concept Of Roman Numerals. She Thought We Just Fought In World War Eleven.