I Love Flying. I've Been To Almost

Everybody Is Afraid They Won't Have Any Money After They Die, But Jack Benny Discovered A Way To Take It With Him. He Had His Appendix Taken Out And A Piggy Bank Put In.

It's Very Frustrating Making A Picture In Paris. We Work Hard All Day At The Studio To Get A Love Scene Just Right. Then, On My Way Home, I See Couples On Every Street Corner Doing It Better.

The Governor Has No Presidential Aspirations. In Fact He Just Made A Tour Of 43 States Just To Tell Them He's Not Running For Anything.

Golf Is A Funny Game. It's Done Much For Health, And At The Same Time Has Ruined People By Robbing Them Of Their Peace Of Mind. Look At Me, I'm The Healthiest Idiot In The World.

As Soon As The War Ended, We Located The One Spot On Earth That Hadn't Been Touched By The War And Blew It To Hell.