I Like Stand-up. But I'd Also Like

And Of Course I Didn't Make Any Money From Stand Up For Years, So I Had Temp Jobs. That Was The Way I Made Money.

One Of The Most Difficult And Ironic Murder Weapons Is The Life Jacket.

Everything I Ever Learned I Was Told By Someone Else.

If I Think Of A Joke That's Really Dirty And I Think It's Funny I'll Try It But What I've Found Over The Years Is They Just Don't Laugh. It Doesn't Work Coming Out Of My Mouth So It's Like They Taught Me 'don't Do That. Don't Go That Way Or You'll Lose Me.'

There Are Jokes I Know I Want To Tell, And There's Sort Of A Rough Order, But Usually I Try To Change It Up Every Show, To Improvise And Talk With The Audience. I Think When You Tell Jokes, If You're Not Careful, You Can End Up Telling The Whole List Of Jokes And Then That's It. And That Can Get A Little Boring.