I Have No Grand Scheme.

Remember When You're Young And You Think Your Dad Is Superman? And Then You Grow Up And Realized He's Just A Drunk Who Wears A Cape.

Let's Say You're In A Situation Where Crystal Meth Can Help You. Like, I Don't Know, You Have Too Many Teeth.

Sometimes It's Hard To Tell If A Joke Is Working Or Not For The First Couple Of Minutes.

I'm Not Like A Performer Type.

I'm A Stand-up Comic. Anything Else I Do Besides That Is A Plus, But Stand-up Comedy Is What I Do, It's What I've Been Doing And It's What I'm Going To Keep Doing.