I Have No Grand Scheme.

So, I Travel A Lot. I Hate Traveling, Mostly 'cause My Dad Used To Beat Me With A Globe.

Never Drink Alone, That's What They Say. But You Know What? If You Drink You Will Never Be Alone, Alright?

What's The Two Things They Tell You Are Healthiest To Eat? Chicken And Fish. You Know What You Should Do? Combine Them, Eat A Penguin.

I'm A Joke Comic. I Tell Jokes.

Have You Seen That Magazine Barely Legal? That Means When You Look At It, You're Almost A Pedophile.