I Like Digital Cameras, Because They Enable

I Wish My Name Started With A Comma. That Would Be So Dramatic.

I Went Whale Watching Once. It Was Very Similar To Watching People On A Boat Become Disappointed.

The Shortest Distance Between Two Idiots Is A Conga Line.

Swimming Is A Confusing Sport, Because Sometimes You Do It For Fun, And Other Times You Do It To Not Die. And When I'm Swimming, Sometimes I'm Not Sure Which One It Is.

A Drunk Driver Is Very Dangerous. So Is A Drunk Backseat Driver If He's Persuasive.