I Like Cilantro, But You Don't Have

I Think People Have This "it Can't Hurt To Ask" Mentality, Which Is True On Some Level. I Get Comics Like, "hey, Will You Look At These Videos Of Me On Myspace?" I Was Like, "well, Who's Gonna Benefit From That? What If I Don't Like You?" No, I'm Gonna Write To A Stranger And Say, "hi. You Like Me, And I Don't Like You. And Now I Feel Bad When I Didn't Need To Feel Bad, Because You Put Me On The Spot." Or Like, "can I Open For You?" Well, I've Never Seen You Work, So No. I Certainly Made Awkward Mistakes When I Was Starting Out, And They're Just Trying To Have A Career.

I Mean, I've Had Bartenders And Waiters And Waitresses Make A Comment About A Joke Of Mine, Like Pointing Out Some Sort Of Logic Error Or Something That I've Never Even Thought About, And They're Right.

My Sister Sometimes Does A Todd Barry Tribute Act.

I Am The The Type To Have A Personal Experience With A Celebrity, But I'm Too Classy To Bring That Up.

I Was Probably Just Trying To Be Dennis Miller, But Without The Vocabulary To Actually Be Dennis Miller. I Guess I Was Just Less Interesting Than I Am Now, If I Am Interesting At All