I Left Home Because I Was Hungry.

Our Principles Are The Springs Of Our Actions. Our Actions, The Springs Of Our Happiness Or Misery. Too Much Care, Therefore, Cannot Be Taken In Forming Our Principles.

I Get Plenty Of Exercise Carrying The Coffins Of My Friends Who Exercise.

My Doctor Said I Look Like A Million Dollars - Green And Wrinkled.

I've Put On A Lot Of Weight... I Only Weighed Six And A Half Pounds When I Was Born.

She Has An Electric Blender, Electric Toaster And Electric Bread Maker. She Said "there Are Too Many Gadgets And No Place To Sit Down!" So I Bought Her An Electric Chair.