I Know A Little Bit About Handicapping.

I Hate It When My Hair Is Engaged In Unauthorized Activities.

The Mistakes That I Made I Made Because I Drank Too Much. I Don't Think That's Going To Happen Any More. Am I Going To Make Mistakes As A Parent? Sadly, Every Day. I'm Looking Around For The Perfect Parent And I Haven't Seen One Yet.

I Don’t Believe For A Second That Weightlifting Is A Sport. They Pick Up A Heavy Thing And Put It Down Again. To Me, That’s Indecision.

I Can Make Things, But I Don't Cook Them, Exactly. Like Salmon, I Can Stick That In A Pan. Or The Other Day I Made Noodles, But They Were Hard. It Never Occurred To Me To Check Them; I Just Stopped Cooking Them When I Felt They Were Ready. Really, I'm Too Absentminded.

I'm The Only Person I Know Of Who's Ever Been Pulled Over For Attempted Speeding.