Adults Are Always Asking Little Kids What

I Hate It When My Hair Is Engaged In Unauthorized Activities.

The Problem With Cats Is That They Get The Exact Same Look On Their Face Whether They See A Moth Or An Axe-murderer.

I Get The First Flight Out From Anywhere I Am Because I Have To Come Home To My Kids.

I've Always Thought That If My Death Was Imminent, I Would Read. When I Can't Focus On A Book, I Tend To Keep Reading The Same Page. My Guess Is, I Would've Read, Like The First Page Of Nicholas Nickleby Over And Over Again.

When A Woman Extends Her Hand For You To Shake It, Then You Shake Her Hand. You Do Not Turn It Up And Kiss It. And It Is Just So Creepy. Because, You Know, I Handed It At This Angle. I Handed It At The Handshake Angle And So I'm Not Giving It To You To Do Whatever You Want With It. I'm Not Loaning It To You. It's Like If Somebody Borrowed Your Lawnmower And You're Assuming They're Going To Use It To Mow Their Lawn. You Don't Want To Find Out Later They Put It In The Ocean!