I Just Want To Do Cool Stuff.

I Remember Interviewing Someone I Actually Felt Bad For, And Therefore Didn't Want To Take An Ironic Stance Against Him. It Actually Turned Out To Be A Really Funny Piece.

I Always Fancied Myself More Of An Actor Than A Comedian Before I Realized That Only Assholes Make That Kind Of Distinction.

Once I Found Out How Much An Off-off-broadway Actor Makes, I Was Whoring Myself Out The Next Day.

Anything That You Can Do A Tiny Bit Of Research About, I'll Turn It Into An Obsession.

I've Got Like A Week And A Half Left, All Bets Are Off.