I Just Don't Accept Midgets As Human

I'd Like To Have A Kid, But I'd Probably Get A Frank Sinatra Jr. Instead Of A Gilbert Gottfried Jr. I'd Totally Screw Up Like That.

I Think Of Alan Thicke As Perry Como Without The Excitement.

I Have Always Felt Comedy And Tragedy Are Roommates. If You Look Up Comedy And Tragedy, You Will Find A Very Old Picture Of Two Masks. One Mask Is Tragedy. It Looks Like Its Crying. The Other Mask Is Comedy. It Looks Like Its Laughing. Nowadays, We Would Say, How Tasteless And Insensitive. A Comedy Mask Is Laughing At A Tragedy Mask.

What Do Japanese Jews Love To Eat? Hebrew National Tsunami.

I've Never Understood People Who Say They're Not A Practicing Jew. You Never Hear A Black Guy Say He's Not A Practicing African-american. What Does It Even Mean?