I Just Don't Accept Midgets As Human

I Wanted To Be A Brain Surgeon, But I Had A Bad Habit Of Dropping Things.

I Understand Being Less Sexy Than Osama Bin Laden, But Not Less Sexy Than Carrot Top. That, I Find Offensive.

I Can't Even Find Someone For A Platonic Relationship, Much Less The Kind Where Someone Wants To See Me Naked.

If Someone Says That I'm The Best At Anything, I Always Just Agree With Them. I'm Certainly Not Gonna Argue.

The 'phoenix Sun' Did A List Of The Unsexiest Men In The World, And I Made It To Number One. I Beat Out Bin Laden. He's A Terrorist, Hasn't Bathed In Months. I Beat Him Out. To Me It Was A Great Honor.