I Feel Bad For Young People. The

I Think It’s Interesting To Me To Talk To People Who Don’t Agree With Me All The Time.

I Think That Comedy Is A Good Defense For A Child. Because You Know Childhood Is A Nightmare As It Is. And So Why Not Use Comedy And Being Funny As A Defense To Get Through Your Life As Opposed To Drugs, Alcohol And Good Looks? Because Those Things Are Dangerous When Your Young.

I Interviewed Ann Coulter When I Was Sitting In For Larry King A Couple Of Times, And We Have A Rapport. I Like To Talk To Her.

I Have A Friend Who Actually Told Me That She'd Rather Be Dead Than Be Fat. This Is A Woman Who, If I Order A Sandwich At Lunch, She'll Order A Salad. If I Order A Salad, She'll Order Half A Cantaloupe. If I Order Half A Cantaloupe, She'll Order A Cup Of Coffee. This Bizarre Contest Continues Until She's Down To Sucking On A Mint-flavored Toothpick. At This Rate, Her Preference For Dying Over Being Fat Could Be A Reality Sooner Than She Thinks.

It Seemed Like The Right Time. You Reach A Point When You Say To Yourself, ‘do I Want To Keep Doing This?’ There Are Other Things On My Plate I Want To Do — I’ve Been Writing A Play, I’ve Been Neglecting My Standup.