I Haven't Spoken To My Wife In

People Ask If I Can Get It Up In The Morning. I Tell Them Are You Kidding I'm Envious Of A Stiff Wind.

The Sign On The Bar Said: 'girls- Topless, Bottomless', I Went Inside And There Was Nobody There!

My Old Man Never Liked Me. He Gave Me My Allowance In Traveler's Checks.

I Worked In A Pet Store And People Would Ask How Big I Would Get.

It Was The Same Thing In The Army, No Respect. They Gave Me A Uniform That Glowed In The Dark.