My Problem Is That I Appeal To

The Shape I'm In, I Could Donate My Body To Science Fiction.

You Know You're Ugly When You Go To The Proctologist And He Sticks His Finger In Your Mouth.

I Joined Gamblers Anon., They Gave Me 2 To 1 I Wouldn't Make It! I Joined Aa, There Was A Two Drink Minimum!

And My Girlfriend, She's Fat! How Fat? She's So Fat She Wears Two Watches-one For Each Time Zone!

I Can't Get No Respect.