I Haven't Heard Of Anybody Who Wants

It Used To Be That A Fellow Went On The Police Force When Everything Else Failed, But Today He Goes In The Advertising Game.

Fun Is Like Life Insurance; The Older You Get, The More It Costs.

I'm Sorry To Inform You That Your 50 Year Warranty Has Expired On Your Back, Knees, And Memory. Luckily Your Lifetime Warranty On Your Heart Is Still In Effect. Of Course, That Becomes Void And Expires When You Do.

Gittin' Talked About Is One O' Th' Penalties For Bein' Purty, While Bein' Above Suspicion Is About Th' Only Compensation Fer Bein' Homely.

It Don't Make No Difference What Is Is, A Woman'll Buy Anything She Thinks A Store Is Losin' Money On.