I Have This Beautiful Antique Silver Wine

My Dad Was A Ham, Too. He Could Sell Those Women Anything. Of All His Sons, I Was The Only One He Could Trust To Sell As Well As He Could. I Was Proud Of That.

I Cant Stand Those Food Cult People Who Bring Their Own Food Into The House. All Those Little Thermoses And Paper Bags-it Makes The Other Guests Uncomfortable.

An Actor Shouldn't Undergo Psychoanalysis, Because There Are A Lot Of Things You're Better Off Not Knowing.

My Kitchen Is Not A Place To Live In. I Made It White So I Can Tell Instantly If It's Not Clean-and I Like It Clean Enough To Be Able To Eat Off The Floors-or The Tables,for That Matter.

Outsiders Develop Humor As A Defense; Why Do You Think Most Comedians Are Gay Or Jewish?