Comedy Is Exaggerated Realism. It Can Be

I Have This Beautiful Antique Silver Wine Decanter That I Bought At An Auction. I Always Pour Wine From That.

My Following Is Straight. I'm So Glad.

It Was The Worst Moment Of My Life. The Producer Came Up And Talked Me Back Into Going On Stage.

I Cant Stand Those Food Cult People Who Bring Their Own Food Into The House. All Those Little Thermoses And Paper Bags-it Makes The Other Guests Uncomfortable.

If I Hadn't Become A Celebrity, I'd Probably Be An Alcoholic.