I Have Performed For 12 Presidents And

I've Always Felt England Was A Great Place For A Comic To Work. It's An Island And The Audience Can't Run Very Far.

Golf Is My Real Profession. Entertainment Is Just A Sideline. I Tell Jokes To Pay My Greens Fees.

Eisenhower Admitted That The Budget Can't Be Balanced And Mccarthy Said The Communists Are Taking Over. You Don't Know What To Worry About These Days - Whether The Country Will Be Overthrown Or Overdrawn.

Today's Ballroom Dances Like The Swim, The Frug, The Chicken And The Monkey Are Really Nervous Disorders Set To Music.

With Today's Movies, If We Took Out All The Bad Language, We'd Go Back To Silent Films.