I Have Performed For 12 Presidents And

Welcome To The Academy Awards, Or, As It's Known At My House, Passover.

The Big Difference In Those Days Was That In England The Government Subsidized Tv, In America We Work On Tv So We Can Subsidize The Government.

Us President Gerald Ford's Golf Was So Bad We Thought He Was A 'hitman For The Pga!

You Could Buy My Book In A Paperback Edition For A Dollar, And In Hard Covers For $3.50. And For Fifty Cents Extra, I Come Around To Your House Personally And Wet Your Finger While You're Turning The Pages.

Bigamy Is The Only Crime Where Two Rites Make A Wrong.