I Have Lived A Carnal Life.

Folks, I've Been Straight For Seventeen Days... Not All In A Row.

I Called A Detox Center - Just To See How Much It Would Cost: $13,000 For Three Weeks! My Friends, If You Can Come Up With Thirteen Grand, You Don't Have A Problem Yet.

Jesus Is Still Up In Heaven, Thumbing Through His Bible, Going 'where Did I Say Build A Water Slide?'

I'm Responsible. I Even Did A Commercial For Mtv Saying How I Was Going To Register To Vote. And I Still Haven't.

There's Always 30 Or 40 Christians Standing Around, Saying, "it's A Shame That He Has To Die." And Jesus Is Saying, "well, Maybe I Wouldn't Have To If Somebody Would Get A Ladder And Pair Of Pliers!!"