List of Zach Galifianakis Quotes

I Try To Write Three Jokes Every Day. I Don't Sit Down And Write Them, It's Just Things That Pop Into My Head. Then I'll Go Watch It Fail Onstage That Night.

I've Always Been Attracted To Sad. If You Look At Woody Allen Movies, He's Often Playing A Sad Clown, And It's Always Been Interesting. And Angry Clown Is Even More Interesting.

The Problem With These Interviews Is That There's No Sarcastic Font.

People Are Trying To Prove Things. And I Probably Have That. I Probably Do. Probably Guilty Of It, In A Way.

Did You Ever Wake Up With An Erection...and Find Yourself In A Massage Chair At Brookstone? And You Yell To The Sales Clerk "i'll Take It!"

I Just Could Just Shave My Beard, And Nobody Would Recognize Me. Although I Look Like Jodie Foster.

The Congressmen And Senators Used To Go Have A Drink In D.c. They Would Disagree All Day Long, But They Would Find That Time To Sit Down And Learn About Each Other Personally. I Think That's Totally Wiped Out; I Don't Think It Really Exists Anymore.

You Know, Sometimes If You Work - If You Do A Lot Of Takes And You Work Long Hours, For Me, At Least, There Is A Delirium That Starts Kicking In On The Fifteenth Hour, And That Can Help. Below The Just Thirteenth Hour Is Where I Have A Concern, Because Everybody's So Tired.

It's Fun For Me To Couple Emotion With Comedy. I Think It Helps Comedy. I Think A Lot Of Times American Comedies Don't Play On Emotion Too Much.

I Like Characters That Are Fragile And A Little Bit On The Edge .

We Talked About Politics Constantly In My Family Growing Up In North Carolina. There Were Always Debates. Being Of Greek Background, It's In Our Blood To Drink Coffee And Talk Politics.

That's One Of The Great Things About Comedy: We Can - And Should - Say The Things That Other People Aren't Supposed To Say. If We Didn't Do That, If We Didn't Push Against Those Limits, We'd Just Be Standing Around Onstage And Yelling.