I Have Got So Low That I

I Have Got So Low That I Have Asked To Be Hospitalized And For Deep Narcosis (sleep). I Cannot Stand Being Awake. The Pain Is Too Much... Something Has Happened To Me, This Vital Spark Has Stopped Burning - I Go To A Dinner Table Now And I Don't Say A Word, Just Sit There Like A Dodo. Normally I Am The Centre Of Attention, Keeps The Conversation Going, - So That Is Depressing In Itself. It's Like Another Person Taking Over, Very Strange. The Most Important Thing I Say Is 'good Evening' And Then I Go Quiet.