Background Image

I Have An Air Mattress. It's Great Because If Someone Tries To Suffocate Me In Bed I Can Just Poke A Hole In It And Use It To Stay Alive.

-Demetri Martin

Please Wait....
Translating....

I Have An Air Mattress. It's Great

Demetri Martin

I Have An Air Mattress. It's Great Because If Someone Tries To Suffocate Me In Bed I Can Just Poke A Hole In It And Use It To Stay Alive.

Views: 10

Topic

More From Demetri Martin

I Saw A Transvestite Wearing A T-shirt That Said 'guess'.

I Think It Would Be Frustrating To Be A Match Maker. "what Do You Do?" "i'm A Match Maker" "aw, That's Really Romantic" "no, Umm... I Actually... Never Mind"

I Think The Most Annoying Language Is A Tie Between All The Ones I Don't Know How To Speak.

I Don't Have To Kill Myself, Time Is Going To Do That.

Saying, 'i'm Sorry' Is The Same As Saying, 'i Apologize.' Except At A Funeral.

Trending Author

Dino De Laurentiis

Gaston Bachelard

Gro Harlem Brundtland

Category