I Think They Named The Orange Before

I Saw A Dog Wearing A Sweater And I Thought That Looked Ridiculous 'cause Dogs Don't Have Arms. If You're Going To Put Clothes On The Dog, You Should Put Two Pairs Of Pants On It.

A Car Alarm Is A Way For A Car To Tell Everyone That Its Owner Is An Asshole.

Thing To Try: If You Are Asked To Describe A Suspect To A Police Sketch Artist, Describe In Precise Detail, The Features Of The Police Sketch Artist. This Is One Of The Rare Instances Where Two People Can Do One Self-portrait.

I Went To Law School. I Found It Interesting For The First Three Weeks.

I Didn't Do Improv In College, I Never Performed, I Didn't Do Theater Either. I Was In Student Government, I Was A History Major.