It's So Long Since I've Had Sex

Before We Make Love My Husband Takes A Pain Killer. I Blame My Mother For My Poor Sex Life. All She Told Me Was, 'the Man Goes On Top And The Woman Underneath'. For Three Years My Husband And I Slept On Bunk Beds. I'm A Double Bagger. Not Only Does My Husband Put A Bag Over My Face When We're Making Love, But He Also Puts A Bag Over His Head In Case Mine Falls Off. It's So Long Since I've Had Sex, I've Forgotten Who Ties Up Whom. My Best Birth Control Now Is To Leave The Lights On.

Anger Is A Symptom, A Way Of Cloaking And Expressing Feelings Too Awful To Experience Directly - Hurt, Bitterness, Grief And, Most Of All, Fear.

Just Remember: Surviving Is The Best Revenge, No Matter What The Disaster Has Been.

I Was The Last Girl In Larchmont, Ny To Get Married. My Mother Had A Sign Up: "last Girl Before Freeway."

If You're Saying The Same Line 10 Times And Making It Look Like You Just Came Up With It, That's Acting.