They Usually Have Two Tellers In My

I'm A Very Simple Person. I'm Very Shallow. Shallow, Simple, Easily Pleased: That's Me.

Most Women Are Introspective: "am I In Love? Am I Emotionally And Creatively Fulfilled?" Most Men Are Outrospective: "did My Team Win? How's My Car?"

An Amicable Divorce Is Like A Ventilated Condom; It Just Doesn't Work.

I Suffer From Peroxide Phobia. Every Time I've Gotten Near A Blond Woman, Something Of Mine Has Disappeared. Jobs, Boyfriends... One Time An Angora Sweater Leaped Right Off My Body.

Be Careful Of Men Who Are Bald And Rich; The Arrogance Of "rich" Usually Cancels Out The Nice Of "bald".