I Had A Career Before The Stern

For A Degenerate Like Me, Vegas Is Like A Walk Down Memory Lane. Last Time I Went To Vegas, I Went To My Old Coke Dealer's Kid's Bar Mitzvah.

If Mike Tyson Was The Voice Of Your Gps, Would You Ever Not Use It?

I Want To See Toby Maguire Fight Christian Bale.

I Snorted Heroin Once By Accident. It Was Amazing. But Kids, Don't Snort Heroin. It's Too Good.

When Political Correctness First Started Coming Around, It Ruined Andrew Dice Clay And Eddie Murphy's Stand-up Career. Sam Kinison Died At Just The Right Time, 'cause No One Was Going To Tolerate What He Was Saying Anymore Either.