It's Not A Drug Problem, Until You

I've Never Been Swimming, And That's Because It's Never Been More Than Half An Hour Since I Last Ate.

I'm Not Going To Lie To You Fellas, I've Been Drinking

I Want To See Toby Maguire Fight Christian Bale.

Have You Ever Googled Yourself? I Did, Most Depressing Thing Ever. People Have Websites Hoping I Die At 38.

I Have Gay Friends, I Support Gay Rights, I Have Nothing Against The Gay Community, But When I See Two Guys Kissing, I Think It's Gross. And, By The Way, It's Gross When 99% Of Straight People Do It, Too.