I Grew Up Thinking That If I

I Remember I Was So Crabby In My Third Trimester - I Got Gestational Diabetes Because I'd Been Acting Like I Was In A One-woman Pie-eating Contest.

I'd Like A Pop-up Magazine With 45 Articles On Russell Crowe. I'm Like A Teenager. I'd Have 'teen Beat' If I Could, For Grown-ups.

I Lied On My Weight Watchers List. I Put Down That I Had 3 Eggs... But They Were Cadbury Chocolate Eggs.

My Favorite Machine At The Gym Is The Vending Machine.

I Always Feel Slightly Sorry To Be The Voice Of Whatever I'm Experiencing.