I Got So Much Food Spit Back

All Of Us Have Moments In Our Lives That Test Our Courage. Taking Children Into A House With A White Carpet Is One Of Them.

I Didn't Fear Old Age. I Was Just Becoming Increasingly Aware Of The Fact That The Only People Who Said Old Age Was Beautiful Were Usually Twenty-three Years Old.

The Hippopotamus Is A Vegetarian And Looks Like A Wall. Lions Who Eat Only Red Meat Are Sleek And Slim. Are Nutritionists On The Wrong Track?

I Don't Think Women Outlive Men, Doctor. It Only Seems Longer.

I Am Always Behind The Shopper At The Grocery Store Who Has Stitched Her Coupons In The Lining Of Her Coat And Wants To Talk About A 'strong' Chicken She Bought Two Weeks Ago. The Register Tape Also Runs Out Just Before Her Sub-total. In The Public Restroom, I Always Stand Behind The Teen-ager Who Is Changing Into Her Band Uniform For A Parade And Doesn't Emerge Until She Has Combed The Tassels On Her Boots, Shaved Her Legs, And Recovered Her Contact Lens From The Commode.