I Got My First Laugh When My

When I Go To The Beach, My Grandchildren Try To Make Words Out Of The Veins In My Legs. That's Why I Still Take The Pill; I Don't Want Any More Grandchildren.

I Was The World's Ugliest Baby. I Have Photos Of My Folks Leaving The Hospital With Sacks Over Their Heads... I Asked My Mother How To Turn Off The Electric Fan. She Said 'grab The Blade!

Nothing Was Happening In The Bedroom. I Nicknamed Our Waterbed The Dead Sea.

When I Go To Bed At Night, I've Got So Much Grease On My Body I Wear Snow Chains To Hold Up My Gown.

I Am Constantly Being Asked About Individuals. The Only Way To Win Is As A Team. Football Is Not About One Or Two Or Three Star Players.