I Finally Had A Ship Tattooed To

I Have Nothing Against Dogs. I Just Hate Rugs That Go Squish-squish.

My Mother-in-law Must Be The Probation Officer I Got For The Crime I Committed Of Marrying My Husband.

Doctors Say It's Okay To Have Sex After A Heart Attack, Provided You Close The Ambulance Door.

My Photographs Don't Do Me Justice - They Just Look Like Me.

Actually, I Comb My Hair Quite Often. Of Course, I Use An Electric Toothbrush.