I Finally Had A Ship Tattooed To

You Know You're Old When Your Walker Has An Airbag.

I Was In A Beauty Contest Once. I Not Only Came In Last, I Was Hit In The Mouth By Miss Congeniality.

Tennis Is Like Marrying For Money. Love Means Nothing.

My Photographs Don't Do Me Justice - They Just Look Like Me.

I Still Take The Pill. I Don't Want Any More Grandchildren.