I Felt I Wasn't Getting Anywhere In

Us President Gerald Ford's Golf Was So Bad We Thought He Was A 'hitman For The Pga!

The Best Thing About Growing Older Is That It Takes Such A Long Time.

In His Prime, The Young Comic Walked Onto A Stage With The Confidence Of A Man Who Owned It, And By The Time He Walked Off, He Did.

Out Here In The Pacific, They Have Typhoons And Hurricanes That Blow Over 200 Miles An Hour. We Have Tornadoes And Hurricanes Back Home, But I Don't Worry About Them. The Mortgage On My House Is So Heavy That Nothing Could Budge It.

The Audience Was Swell. They Were So Polite They Covered Their Mouths When They Yawned.