I Dream Of Starting A Three-man Country

I Just Could Just Shave My Beard, And Nobody Would Recognize Me. Although I Look Like Jodie Foster.

A Good Stand-up, You Lead The Audience. You Don't Kowtow To The Audience. Sometimes The Audience Is Wrong. I Always Think The Audience Is Wrong.

You Know You're Getting Fat When Your Socks Don't Fit.

I Don't Like To Have Anybody Tell Me To Be In A Place At Certain Times. That's Kind Of The Advantage Of Stand Up. You're Self-employed.

I'm Proud Of The Hangover, But To Be In Movies Like This, Which Are Really The Only Places I Can Get Work, It's Really Quite The Opposite Of What I Am. I Like Sensitive Art-house Movies. I'm Not Even Much Of A Partier. I Mean, I'll Drink Myself Into Oblivion Alone In My Car.