I Tend To Think Of Myself As

I Like To Read The Bible In Public Places Where People Are Watching Me Read It. And I Like To Mumur Out To Myself: 'bullshit!'

I Just Try To Keep Myself A Traditionalist. I Liked Being An Underground Comic Doing My Thing. I Want To Maintain That. I Just Do.

I Don't Want To Do An Edgy Show, I Didn't Want Bad Language. I Think Edginess Is The New Hackiness.

I Live In Los Angeles And I Had Been Drinking One Night, So I Was On The Walk Of Fame And I Saw Tony Danza's Star And I Started Urinating On It. Just Yelling Out, 'who's The Boss Now?'

I Don't Know What My Assistant Would Do Besides Get Me Pot.