I Don't Think You Can Make A

When I Die, My Epitaph Or Whatever You Call Those Signs On Gravestones Is Going To Read: "i Joked About Every Prominent Man Of My Time, But I Never Met A Man I Didn't Like." I Am So Proud Of That I Can Hardly Wait To Die So It Can Be Carved. And When You Come To My Grave You Will Find Me Sitting There, Proudly Reading It.

I Have Always Claimed Americans Didn't Want A Drink As Bad As They Wanted The Right To Take A Drink If They Did Happen To Want One.

Everything Is Changing. People Are Taking Their Comedians Seriously And The Politicians As A Joke.

You Never Know How Much A Man Can't Remember Until He Is Called As A Witness.

Too Many People Spend Money They Haven't Earned To Buy Things They Don't Want To Impress People They Don't Like.