I Don't Really Tell A Joke, I

The Man I Adored, And Miss Him Terribly, Was Johnny Carson.

I Used To Play Golf. I Wanted To Be A Better Player, But After A While I Realized I'd Always Stink. And That's When I Really Started To Enjoy The Game.

It's Tough Having The Last Name Rickles. Luckily, My Kids Handled It Great.

Al Capone's My Uncle. The Old Days Were A Lot Different. The Latin Casino Was The Big Time. When I Got There I Figured That I Was Doing Pretty Good, Because Remember, I Started In Nothing But After Hours Joints. I Can't Even Name Them Now, But That's How I Got Noticed.

I've Never Walked Off Stage And Said, I Shouldn't Have Done That. Because When You Do What I Do, You're Like A Fighter. You Throw The Right Hand And Say, That's What Got Me To This Dance. You Can't Have Doubt. If You Have Doubt, There's No Show.