Some People Call Me A Legend And

When You Enter A Room, You Have To Kiss His Ring. I Don't Mind, But He Has It In His Back Pocket.

I Have A Problem, If The Light Goes On On Tv And It Blinks Midnight, I Don't Know How To Fix It.

It's Tough Having The Last Name Rickles. Luckily, My Kids Handled It Great.

In The Old Days, That Was My Ad-lib For Hecklers In The Joints I Worked. It Stuck With Me. I Hardly Say It Now, Say, To Fans, Even Though People Do Send Me Hockey Pucks.

I Used To Play Golf. I Wanted To Be A Better Player, But After A While I Realized I'd Always Stink. And That's When I Really Started To Enjoy The Game.