I Don't Know Why I Ever Come

Happiness Means Quiet Nerves.

W. C. Fields, A Lifetime Agnostic, Was Discovered Reading A Bible On His Deathbed. ''i'm Looking For A Loop-hole,'' He Explained.

Some Things Are Better Than Sex, And Some Are Worse, But There's Nothing Exactly Like It.

The Income Tax Was Devised To Give Lawyers And Certified Public Accountants Business. Few Persons Can Make Head, Tail, Or Middle Out Of It. Einstein Admitted He Couldn't.

I Seldom Took A Drink On The Set Before 9 A.m.