I Don't Have To Attend Every Argument

I Drink With Impunity...or Anyone Else Who Invites Me.

A Comic Should Suffer As Much Over A Single Line As A Man With A Hernia Would In Picking Up A Heavy Barbell.

Marry An Outdoors Woman. Then If You Throw Her Out Into The Yard On A Cold Night, She Can Still Survive.

I Could Juggle Anything In My Day. Balls, Cigar Boxes, Knives...but There Was One Thing I Could Never Juggle. My Income Tax.

I'd Rather Have Two Girls At 21 Each Than One Girl At 42.