I Don't Believe In Dining On An

How Well I Remember My First Encounter With The Devil'ss Brew. I Happened To Stumble Across A Case Of Bourbon - And Went Right On Stumbling For Several Days Thereafter.

I Was Married Once--in San Francisco. I Haven't Seen Her For Many Years. The Great Earthquake And Fire In 1906 Destroyed The Marriage Certificate. There's No Legal Proof. Which Proves That Earthquakes Aren't All Bad.

All Englishmen Talk As If They've Got A Bushel Of Plums Stuck In Their Throats, And Then After Swallowing Them Get Constipated From The Pips.

Never Cry Over Spilt Milk, Because It May Have Been Poisoned.

I Once Donated A Pint Of My Finest Red Corpuscles To The Great American Red Cross And The Doctor Opined My Blood Was Very Helpful; Contained So Much Alcohol They Could Use It To Sterilize Their Instruments.