I Don't Know What Humor Is.

They Used To Take Your Horse And If They Were Caught They Got Hung For It. Now They Take Your Car, And If They Are Caught It's A Miracle.

Take Me Ham Away, Take Away My Eggs, Even My Chili, But Leave Me My Newspaper.

I'm Not A Real Movie Star. I've Still Got The Same Wife I Started Out With Twenty-eight Years Ago.

Texas Is A Great State. It's The 'old Man River' Of States. No Matter Who Runs It Or What Happens To It Politically, It Just Keeps Rolling Along!

A Holding Company Is A Thing Where You Hand An Accomplice The Goods While The Policeman Searches You.