I Don't Know If I Have Sexual

I Once Heard Two Ladies Going On And On About The Pains Of Childbirth And How Men Don't Seem To Know What Real Pain Is. I Asked If Either Of Them Ever Got Themselves Caught In A Zipper.

Thinking Up Jokes Is Easy. The Hard Part Is Trying Them Out On Stage, Because You Never Know If They're Funny Until You Get There. Not One Comedian In The World Ever Really Knows.

Probably The Toughest Time In Anyone's Life Is When You Have To Murder A Loved One Because They're The Devil.

I Love England. In Fact, They're Getting To Know Me So Well At Heathrow Immigration That This Time I Was Able To Completely Bypass The Six Months Rabies Quarantine.

Writing Jokes For Others Is Like Having Babies For Someone Else. It's Sad. Like The Woman Who Gives Up Her Baby But Needs To Be Close So She Secretly Becomes The Maid In The Household.