I Don't Grasp Things This Early In

It Takes At Least One To Make A Marriage.

Years Ago When A Man Began To Notice That If He Stood Up On The Subway He Was Immediately Replaced By Two People, He Figured He Was Getting Too Fat.

Being Divorced Is Like Being Hit By A Mack Truck. If You Live Through It, You Start Looking Very Carefully To The Right And To The Left.

... It's Impossible To Register Any Emotion Without Using Some Muscle Which, In Time, Will Produce A Wrinkle. ... By The Time She Is Thirty, A Starlet Has Been Carefully Taught To Smile Like A Dead Halibut. The Eyes Widen, The Mouth Drops Open, But The Eye Muscles Are Never Involved.

I Feel About Airplanes The Way I Feel About Diets. It Seems To Me That They Are Wonderful Things For Other People To Go On.