I Would Rather Be Living In Philadelphia.

Comedy Is Merely Tragedy Happening To Someone Else.

There Comes A Time In The Affairs Of Man When He Must Take The Bull By The Tail And Face The Situation.

I Have Spent A Lot Of Time Searching Through The Bible For Loopholes.

I Was Married Once--in San Francisco. I Haven't Seen Her For Many Years. The Great Earthquake And Fire In 1906 Destroyed The Marriage Certificate. There's No Legal Proof. Which Proves That Earthquakes Aren't All Bad.

I Don't Drink Anymore, On The Other Hand I Don't Drink Any Less Either.